Imagine the Battle of the Five Armies being bad dream you had and waking up to find Kili, Fili and Thorin still alive and safe!
I screamed, screamed and screamed. My voice became hoarse with agony as I saw Azog impale my little golden lion. Hearing him gasp for breath as pain filled his eyes. No, no! NO! I screamed even louder while I watched him being tossed down, like he was some piece of filth. My stomach heaved when I heard him land onto the stone, the sicking crunch of bones breaking – Kíli’s roar of rage filling the air. No … no … Fíli!
I couldn’t reach him. I couldn’t do anything. It was as if my limbs were made out of lead instead of flesh and muscle. I tried to move. I tried to reach for my bow as my eyes met Kíli’s oak brown eyes. I saw the despair making them almost black. He reached for me, his lips starting to form my name. A wet choking cry escaped his lips as Bolg impaled him, blood trickling out of his mouth. I let out a scream, my hand reaching for my onyx wolf. No, Gods, no, please no!
Azog was on top of Thorin, his blade trying to pierce Thorin’s body who kept it away with Orcrist. He was struggling, fighting to get away from Azog who pushed his spear arm down. I tried to reach my bow, clawing the ice as I didn’t feel my legs. I kept screaming his name, begging the Gods to save him. To spare him. Thorin turned his head, his eyes meeting mine and gasped – his eyes becoming wide as Azog impaled him. I cried, screaming, begging as I tried to get to him, but I saw the life leave his eyes. THORIN!
“Thorin!” I jolted up, disorientated as my head throbbed and my body ached. “No no no!” I screamed as I fought with my blankets, trying to figure out where I was. “Thorin! Fíli! Kíli! Please!” I sobbed, falling out of the bed, and whimpered as everything hurt. “THORIN!”
Please don’t be dead. Please, Gods, no, no don’t be dead. My heart felt as if it was being ripped apart, claws of sorrow digging into my flesh. I beat the ground, pleading and crying as my head hurt so bad. I tried to crawl as my legs were aching, but the pain was nothing compared to the one in my heart.
I failed them. I failed them all. Please, oh mighty Father, Seven Gods, take my life and let them live. I don’t wish to exist anymore if they are not in this world. I let out a sorrow-filled wail, my tears rolling down my cheeks and burning my eyes as I felt so hollow.
The strength left my arms and I lay on the ground, shaking and trembling. Forgive me. Please, forgive me for being unable to protect you all. I am so sorry.
“Aeyanna!” I raised my head weakly as voice pierced through the sorrow-filled fog of my mind and heavy feet ran towards me. Strong arms picked me up, pulling me against a warm hard body and a big hand softly brushed my hair away.
“I’m here, my love. I am so sorry that I wasn’t here when you woke up,” Thorin mumbled low as he held me in his arms, rocking me softly. I looked at him, my vision cloudy.
“Thorin?”
“Yes, it is me, ghivashel, it is me,” he murmured low as he pulled me his lap, his arms around me.
“You’re not dead?”
“No, I’m not dead. Fíli and Kíli are alive too,” he reassured me, brushing my tears away with his sleeve and I could see his face again. He looked haggard, a bandage wrapped around his head, but he was alive. He was alive.
I started weeping again, wrapping my tired arms around Thorin and buried my face in his neck. He held me tight, whispering soothing words in my ear as I could hear his heartbeat.
“I dreamed you died, you and the boys. I couldn’t save you. I’m so sorry, Thorin.”
“But you did save us. We are alive because of you. It was just a bad dream, amrâlimê.Just a dream. I’m here. The boys are alive.” He stroke my hair back, pressing a kiss against my temple.
We both looked up when the tent opened and the boys limped in, their faces dark with worry. “We heard her scream!”
“So we came as soon as we could!” Fíli finished his brother’s sentence and I started crying again, in bright relief. They looked at their Uncle alarmed as they moved towards us.
“She dreamed we all died,” Thorin explained as I pulled Kíli into my arms and hold him tight, touching his head and back to convince myself this was real and my mischievous little wolf wasn’t dead.
“Oh, Aeyanna, you can’t get rid of us that easy,” Kíli teased me soft as he hugged me back, Fíli wrapping his arms around his brother and me. I let out a watery laugh, feeling Thorin chuckle faintly as his arm was around his waist and his other hand on his eldest nephew’s shoulder.
I touched Fíli’s cheek, smiling happy at him as the pain and sorrow left my body and relief filled me now. It had just been a bad dream. I closed my eyes as I sniffed soft. We were all alive. It had been a bad dream, a mere dream.
We lived to fight another day.
I screamed, screamed and screamed. My voice became hoarse with agony as I saw Azog impale my little golden lion. Hearing him gasp for breath as pain filled his eyes. No, no! NO! I screamed even louder while I watched him being tossed down, like he was some piece of filth. My stomach heaved when I heard him land onto the stone, the sicking crunch of bones breaking – Kíli’s roar of rage filling the air. No … no … Fíli!
I couldn’t reach him. I couldn’t do anything. It was as if my limbs were made out of lead instead of flesh and muscle. I tried to move. I tried to reach for my bow as my eyes met Kíli’s oak brown eyes. I saw the despair making them almost black. He reached for me, his lips starting to form my name. A wet choking cry escaped his lips as Bolg impaled him, blood trickling out of his mouth. I let out a scream, my hand reaching for my onyx wolf. No, Gods, no, please no!
Azog was on top of Thorin, his blade trying to pierce Thorin’s body who kept it away with Orcrist. He was struggling, fighting to get away from Azog who pushed his spear arm down. I tried to reach my bow, clawing the ice as I didn’t feel my legs. I kept screaming his name, begging the Gods to save him. To spare him. Thorin turned his head, his eyes meeting mine and gasped – his eyes becoming wide as Azog impaled him. I cried, screaming, begging as I tried to get to him, but I saw the life leave his eyes. THORIN!
“Thorin!” I jolted up, disorientated as my head throbbed and my body ached. “No no no!” I screamed as I fought with my blankets, trying to figure out where I was. “Thorin! Fíli! Kíli! Please!” I sobbed, falling out of the bed, and whimpered as everything hurt. “THORIN!”
Please don’t be dead. Please, Gods, no, no don’t be dead. My heart felt as if it was being ripped apart, claws of sorrow digging into my flesh. I beat the ground, pleading and crying as my head hurt so bad. I tried to crawl as my legs were aching, but the pain was nothing compared to the one in my heart.
I failed them. I failed them all. Please, oh mighty Father, Seven Gods, take my life and let them live. I don’t wish to exist anymore if they are not in this world. I let out a sorrow-filled wail, my tears rolling down my cheeks and burning my eyes as I felt so hollow.
The strength left my arms and I lay on the ground, shaking and trembling. Forgive me. Please, forgive me for being unable to protect you all. I am so sorry.
“Aeyanna!” I raised my head weakly as voice pierced through the sorrow-filled fog of my mind and heavy feet ran towards me. Strong arms picked me up, pulling me against a warm hard body and a big hand softly brushed my hair away.
“I’m here, my love. I am so sorry that I wasn’t here when you woke up,” Thorin mumbled low as he held me in his arms, rocking me softly. I looked at him, my vision cloudy.
“Thorin?”
“Yes, it is me, ghivashel, it is me,” he murmured low as he pulled me his lap, his arms around me.
“You’re not dead?”
“No, I’m not dead. Fíli and Kíli are alive too,” he reassured me, brushing my tears away with his sleeve and I could see his face again. He looked haggard, a bandage wrapped around his head, but he was alive. He was alive.
I started weeping again, wrapping my tired arms around Thorin and buried my face in his neck. He held me tight, whispering soothing words in my ear as I could hear his heartbeat.
“I dreamed you died, you and the boys. I couldn’t save you. I’m so sorry, Thorin.”
“But you did save us. We are alive because of you. It was just a bad dream, amrâlimê.Just a dream. I’m here. The boys are alive.” He stroke my hair back, pressing a kiss against my temple.
We both looked up when the tent opened and the boys limped in, their faces dark with worry. “We heard her scream!”
“So we came as soon as we could!” Fíli finished his brother’s sentence and I started crying again, in bright relief. They looked at their Uncle alarmed as they moved towards us.
“She dreamed we all died,” Thorin explained as I pulled Kíli into my arms and hold him tight, touching his head and back to convince myself this was real and my mischievous little wolf wasn’t dead.
“Oh, Aeyanna, you can’t get rid of us that easy,” Kíli teased me soft as he hugged me back, Fíli wrapping his arms around his brother and me. I let out a watery laugh, feeling Thorin chuckle faintly as his arm was around his waist and his other hand on his eldest nephew’s shoulder.
I touched Fíli’s cheek, smiling happy at him as the pain and sorrow left my body and relief filled me now. It had just been a bad dream. I closed my eyes as I sniffed soft. We were all alive. It had been a bad dream, a mere dream.
We lived to fight another day.